Imperfect Consequences Read online

  “That’s almost like being kinda pregnant, David. There is no such thing.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. I screwed up, but it’s not an affair. It’s just talking.”

  “Said the spider to the fly. My guess is, if I were Shannon, I’d be pissed, too.”

  “Okay. She has a right to be and I don’t know if the separation is permanent or not, but we both need to get our heads together.” David wanted to be angry, but he’d never felt so low in his life.

  “Yep. I can understand that.” Bruce sipped his beer, and they both remained quiet. “And what did Shannon say?”

  “Well, she gave me this fat file and said she had some suggestions to fix us. I’m not certain that what is broken can be fixed, not with mumbo jumbo anyway. She actually defied me to consider something so out of character for her.”

  “Mumbo jumbo?”

  David flipped the edge of the file. “I don’t know what else to call this idea. I just don’t.” He was surprised when Bruce remained quiet. “What?”

  “If you love her, you’re going to honor her with at least learning what she thinks is going to work. Defiant isn’t always bad.” Bruce glanced down at the file.

  “Well, with Shannon, defiant is an art form. I’m weary from the push and pull of who’s in control in our relationship. I do love her and would walk on water, or go through fire, to find a way back to us. I would. I honest to God would, but I’m exhausted every day.”

  Bruce took another swig of beer before leaning over the desk. “Then read more about domestic discipline. I know it can work.” With that, he walked out of the room.

  And David was in total shock and sat still as he reeled. A full two minutes later, he swiveled in his chair, glanced back at the computer screen, and bolted after Bruce, finding him outside on the deck. Moving to the railing, he leaned over and inhaled the scents of spring foliage. His heart was thumping wildly as he tried to process what he’d read, let alone what Bruce had just said. “I’ve never heard of domestic discipline before. You have?”

  “Few people have, and those who practice certainly don’t bring it out in the open,” Bruce said quietly.

  “I can understand why.”

  “And why is that? Because couples want to balance their relationship, allow one person to be in charge of the household?”

  David shifted and tilted his head. He had almost hoped Bruce was teasing him. Seeing the serious look on his face, he knew otherwise. “And what, the man gets to spank his wife anytime she says a cuss word?”

  “Sometimes. If that’s what the man in charge decides. You just said you’re tired of trying to figure out who is in charge. In DD relationships, there is no question. The man makes the rules for the household, including the financial decisions and even how his wife is supposed to act in public.” Adjusting his sunglasses, Bruce took another sip of his beer and settled into the chair, resting his head on the back.

  “I can’t imagine Shannon would want any part of this.”

  “You’d be surprised how many assertive women want to be controlled and want to have clear rules to follow.”

  “You are so nonchalant about this. Don’t tell me you did this before,” David said as he brushed his shaking hand through his hair.

  Bruce chuckled. “No, I did not, but my brother and his wife are involved in the lifestyle and have been for about fifteen years. I’ve seen them go from completely combative, to a couple very much in love. I honestly can’t tell you if it’s all because of Jim taking control of the family, but I just know what I see. Don’t knock something you have no idea about.”

  “I’m not knocking it. I’m just not sure I’m that kind of man,” David huffed.

  “And what kind of a man is that?” Lifting his sunglasses, Bruce shook his head. “You love your wife, and your marriage is in trouble. You’re a man who wants to be in control, and your wife is giving you the option of trying something to possibly allow you to have what you both want. Now, tell me, what kind of a man are we talking about here?”

  David sighed and scanned the perimeter of the lawn, his mind reeling. “I’m just not certain I can hurt her.”

  “Okay, now I’m stepping in. Spankings are meant for punishment, disciplining for bad behavior. They’re supposed to hurt, but you’re not harming or abusing her. There’s a huge difference, and until you can wrap your mind around the concept, you’re right. You’ll never be able to even consider this.”

  “But spanking? Like what, I use a belt or a paddle?”

  “My God. Don’t get lost in the semantics. You can use your hand or a paddle or whatever. Couples vary in their choices and sometimes the punishment is even more severe. Read about this. Educate yourself. Find out what DD is all about, and maybe you’ll discover something about yourself, as well as about Shannon. She obviously wants to do this for a reason.”

  “God. This is nuts.”

  Bruce moved to the edge of his seat. “Didn’t you tell me Shannon gave you all that information you were looking at?”

  “Yeah. She must have put everything together over the weekend.”

  “Then do her the honor of at least finding out as much as you can. If you want to talk to my brother, I’m sure Jim would be happy to chat. If you want a divorce, then by all means, do nothing. If you want to try something very different, then read and learn. You can always stop later if you both find DD doesn’t work.”

  David vacillated back and forth about every aspect of the lifestyle, realizing he was sick to his stomach. “People really do this?”

  “Yes, people do,” Bruce chuckled. Rising out of the deck chair, he patted David on the back. “I’m getting my brother’s number. As your best friend and business partner, it’s my duty, as well as my right, to provide you with some intervention.”

  “And why’s that?”

  “Because I love ya like a brother, but I don’t want you living in my house on a permanent basis. No matter how cute you are? Got it?” Bruce grinned.

  “Loud and clear.” David watched him walk back into the house before lowering his head, his heart heavy. She’d really believed he was having an affair. If he had to admit the ugly truth to himself, the thought had crossed his mind more than once. As he stood quietly, enjoying the way the breeze tickled his skin, he was filled with sadness. He didn’t want to lose his marriage. What if this very odd idea could help? Could he be a strong and fair husband? His doubts were stifling. A few minutes later, Bruce returned, phone in hand.

  “Here. Jim is more than willing to talk to you about how he and Sally got into DD and the pitfalls.” Bruce offered him the phone.

  David stared at it.

  “He won’t bite, but I might. It’s just a conversation. You’ll learn more from him than you will any Google search.”

  A strange thing happened as he reached for the phone, a mixture of apprehension and intense excitement replacing anger. “Hi, this is David.”

  David had been pacing the small study in Bruce’s home for almost thirty minutes. He was jazzed and full of energy. The week had gone well at work and all the contracts were signed for the new project. The county was on board and they were set to break ground within a month. While he hadn’t been up to speed as far as concentration, he was certainly more on an even keel with his emotions and mood swings. However, there wasn’t an hour that went by when he didn’t think about Shannon. The time alone had been healing and very much a learning experience. Although he’d talked with her on several occasions, the subject of domestic discipline hadn’t come up again. The conversations were short and ill at ease.

  In his days alone, he’d talked with Bruce’s brother three times. He’d learned so much about how difficult Jim and Sally’s life had been before they tried DD for one month, uncertain if they could even finish out the allotted period of time. David had been surprised to learn how much difficulty Jim had in spanking Sally the first time and even the second. Jim had introduced David to several websites written by men, and their renditions of th
eir personal journeys had certainly been eye opening. Jim also said by the end of their trial month, they’d both been very surprised how life changing the thirty days had been. He’d heard so many positives and almost zero negatives, and still David was stymied.

  Everything seemed a little Svengali-like for him. But as he read more and more first-hand testimonies, he was starting to become convinced. He was apprehensive about talking with Shannon, but his gut was guiding and encouraging. He glanced over at his phone and said a silent prayer before dialing her cell phone. “Hi. I was wondering if you were free tonight for dinner. I’d like to take you out, maybe talk about some things, like we used to?”

  A slight sound escaped her lips and she didn’t answer for a few seconds. “As in a date?”

  “Yeah. Like a date. Very much like one. I could pick you up around six-thirty and then if it’s all right with you, I’d like to come home tonight. We have some things to talk about at dinner, but if it’s okay with you…” His words trailed off. This was more awkward than he’d imagined.

  “I’d like that. Six-thirty, then. Would you like me to dress any particular way? I mean, are we going somewhere nice?”

  David smiled hearing the voice of the woman he’d fallen in love with, shy and unassuming. “I’d love to see you in a red dress.” He heard what sounded like a moan and smiled.

  “That I can do. I’m… um, I’m looking forward to it.”

  “Me too.” As David hung up the phone, he growled.

  “Well, well. I’m proud of you. Take her to a nice place and enjoy each other first. Have some wine and be in love before you talk about changing your life.”

  Hearing Bruce’s voice, he burst into laughter. “Why do I feel like my father is sending me off on my first date, handing me the keys to his beloved Buick?”

  Bruce shook his finger as he made a tsking noise. “And don’t you dare come home before midnight. That is, if you come home at all.”

  “Yes, sir.” Maybe. Just maybe, this could work.

  “You look beautiful.” David’s eyes reflected sheer exhaustion.

  “Thank you.” The compliment didn’t sit well with her, yet, Shannon smiled as she stole a glance at David. She was still having a difficult time with thoughts about Jade’s e-mails. David seemed sincere, but she had so many doubts about the truth and about her ability to trust him any longer.

  “I know. I don’t say it often enough.” David placed his hand on the small of her back as they were led to a table.

  “You don’t say much at all.” She could hear the slight catch in her voice and for some reason hoped he hadn’t caught it. If they were ending their marriage over calamari and linguini, she refused to lose her dignity to a two-timing man. Groaning inwardly, she reminded herself he’d come clean with what had happened. Still, the other woman seemed to be looming in the back of her mind, a ball and chain she’d prepared herself for years ago.

  “Yeah, I… I realize that. I wish I could go back a few years.”

  Well, you can’t. Why in God’s name she suddenly felt shy, she wasn’t certain. Maybe because of the second guessing she’d been doing all week. The truth was, she’d been apprehensive since his call, wondering what the dinner conversation would be about. The week had been difficult for her, with hours spent on reflecting about the past, their marriage, and the possibilities for divorce. She’d even found out enough about Jade and had driven by the woman’s house. Not her finest hour. Thank God, she’d only envisioned confronting her. Shivering, she shook off her negative thoughts. Now, they were sitting in their favorite Italian restaurant, the soft strains of melodic guitar floating throughout the cozy space.

  David inhaled deeply as he held up his glass of wine. “I know how you love it here.”

  “A sultry setting meant for seduction.” Although she held up her glass, she had no intentions of allowing herself to be seduced tonight, not with so much on her mind.

  “Yes. Indeed.” As his eyes remained haunted, he took a sip of wine.

  Shannon toyed with her glass with one hand as she brushed the tips of her fingers down her neck. She hadn’t been this nervous in a long time. Granted, they hadn’t been on a date in so many months, well over a year, that she was unaccustomed to dressing up. Standing at the mirror for almost an hour, after switching from one scarlet dress to another, had seemed ridiculous. Or maybe she was still a girl at heart, longing to please her man. Hell, she was confused. At least he’d said something nice for a change.

  “Would you prefer to go somewhere else?” David reached out, tugging a stray strand of hair from her face.

  The touch seemed almost far too intimate and she pulled back, noticing he instantly seemed hurt. Shannon was craving just being able to laugh. “No, and I do love being here. You know, this is the same table we used to sit at years ago. Remember?”

  “I do.” Smiling, he looked away.

  “Do you remember the one time we were so drunk you had to call Bruce to cart us home?”

  “Do you remember how pissed he was?” David’s booming laughter echoed in the room.

  “I don’t think we’ll ever live that one down.”

  “Trust me, I hear about it every once in a while. Bruce is known for blackmail.”

  They both laughed nervously. Taking a sip of her wine, Shannon crossed and re-crossed her legs.

  Very tentatively, David reached out, taking her hand. As he rubbed his thumb back and forth across the top of her hand, his breathing became strangled. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m okay as I can be, waiting for the shoe to drop.” Shannon had to fight to keep her hand still.

  “I know this is difficult for you.”

  “Hopefully, being unsure whether we make an appointment to see an attorney or not is disconcerting for you as well.” She could hear the familiar harsh edge creeping up in her voice. To David’s credit, he merely nodded, a slight smile curling in the corner of his mouth.

  “I read the entire file.”

  “Oh?” Oh my God. He really read the entire file?

  David nodded. “You spent a lot of time reading and researching. I’m impressed and I admit, a little weirded out by everything.”

  “Well, I thought finding out the various aspects was important. I know the lifestyle is a bit out there.” Her hand shaking, she was barely able to bring the glass to her mouth.

  “No, the blog posts and websites were informative, but they weren’t enough for me.” Her eyes grew wide, and he clamped down on her hand before she could pull away. “I needed to hear more and understand from a different perspective. Did you know Bruce’s brother and sister-in-law practice DD?”

  “No, I didn’t.” She was genuinely shocked, as well as pleased. “You talked with them?”

  “I did, several times. The entire lifestyle is fascinating.”

  “I think so, too. I’m amazed how many people truly feel their intimacy has grown, with passion exploding off the charts like they were teenagers again. The women seem so serene and fulfilled, as if they’d always needed a strong hand, some clear and very pointed direction. One woman I read about, managed to stop taking pills for depression, while another was able to go back to school and concentrate, getting her master’s degree in like a year and… I’m rambling.” Blushing, she hid behind her glass.

  David brought her hand to his lips, kissing each fingertip.

  Her lower lip was quivering and her pussy tingling. Exhaling slowly, Shannon licked her lips.

  “Shannon, do you really want to try this? I mean, from what I understand, the man is in charge, period.”

  “I know, and you’re that man,” Shannon quietly agreed, allowing him to open up.

  “As in, I’d be making the rules and you’d have to follow them completely.”

  “Yes. That’s the way the relationship works.”

  David frowned. “As in, you’d have to stop pushing back at everything I say to you, every day of the week.”

  “I know that, David. I’d be given a cl
ear-cut set of rules to follow and if I didn’t there would be consequences to pay.”

  “And you really want this? I mean, you’ve thought about living day in and day out, knowing I was in control of our house, our life and livelihood? You’d understand I would require you to act a certain way, both in and out of the house?”

  “Yes, David, that’s what domestic discipline households are about. Women have a say about certain things, but the man remains in charge.” For some reason, it seemed important to Shannon to let him process this through. Oddly enough, answering the questions was giving her a solid conviction, a deep longing, and for a minute, she was surprised how turned on she was at the possibilities. This just couldn’t be normal, but thinking about everything she’d read about other women in the early stages of DD, her feelings were typical.

  Taking a gulp of wine, he sat back in his seat, studying her face. “And you really want this?”

  “I do.”

  Tick. Tock.

  “And you do understand this lifestyle change might not solve our problems?” David asked gently.

  “Yes, but I also don’t think developing a set of rules and talking about them, working together on what’s best and maybe establishing a routine for me, you know some do’s and don’ts, is a bad idea.”

  “Okay, but why do you feel you want these rules?”

  “David, you and I both know I can’t seem to focus on anything, lately. I’m scattered and all over the place. I can’t concentrate and I haven’t been me for a hell of a long time. I wish I could just snap my fingers and fix everything, but I can’t. I just need some control around me. I realize this isn’t the girl you married, but I’ve changed.”

  “Shannon, I’m not judging you. I’ve changed, too. We both have, and your mother’s death really rattled you.”

  Shannon nodded, a sliver of relief easing down her spine. “Yes, but I think you and I know, I’ve been growing more and more unhappy with myself each year. I want to try some new things, maybe go back to school, maybe write a book. I just want something different in my life. But I can tell, in that difference, I want my husband, the man I married, smack in the middle. I want to enjoy our life the way it was once.”