Indebted: A Dark Irish Mafia Romance Read online

  Blinking, I was finally able to focus as I raked my hands through my hair. The sound of the phone instantly dragged me back to the ugliness of my life. I stormed toward the coffee table, yanking the phone into my hand. I didn’t need to see anything other than the foreign area code to know who was calling.

  It would seem my brother had refused to take no for an answer.

  There was no rationalization for the level of anger boiling through me, the mindless blur of rage that ripped at my vision and my very rationality. As I let out a deep roar, prepared to smash the phone, only the sound of her subtle gasps of shock were able to stop me from pitching it across the room.

  My chest ached as I attempted to control my breathing, blind spots forming in front of my eyes as my blood pressure soared. How dare Jefferson give Liam my private number? How dare the asshole even attempt to thwart my command?

  “What’s wrong?” Alessandra asked, almost tentatively, as if my anger would be exacted on her.

  I took several deep breaths before turning to face her, unable to look her in the eyes. “Go and dress then meet me in the kitchen. We will eat.” I turned away from her, expecting her to follow my directions immediately.

  “Who called you? Why are you so angry?”

  I laughed, continuing to glare at the phone. “My brother. After ten fucking years he thinks I’m going to talk to him.” There was no reason for the words to spew from my mouth. None. I didn’t want her to learn anything about me. I didn’t give a shit.

  Or so I thought.

  When she hesitated before walking closer, daring to defy my space, I almost lashed out. Then she placed her hand on my shoulder, the touch ripping away the rage in a way that had never been done before. I was lightheaded, my body swaying. “Don’t, Alessandra. You need to leave me before I hurt you.”

  “You won’t hurt me, at least not in this way, not out of anger. That much I know about you.”

  “Then once again, you’d be wrong. Just go.”

  “Why aren’t you close with your brother?”

  Swallowing hard, I hissed before answering, “You don’t need to know.”

  “At some point I guess I’m going to meet them. After all, you’re taking me back to Ireland. Isn’t that the plan? A new instant family?”

  My fucking God.

  Her grip tightened and for a few seconds, I was confused as fuck, ready to bring her into my arms. That couldn’t happen.

  “I said, go!” My bellow was enough to terrify her.

  She backed away quickly, letting out a deep sigh before heading out of the room.

  But not before she turned to stare at me, sadness in her eyes. There was also something else, an emotion that I wasn’t certain I could tolerate.

  Pity.

  I waited until she left the room before dialing Darren’s number. I knew that he and Kito could handle the job I was about to give them with no issues. “I need to see you.”

  “Sure, Mr. Masters. I’ll be right there.”

  I held the phone in my hand, moving toward the bar. This time my selection was stronger, the smooth scotch the only thing that might be capable of calming my rage. After pouring a glass, I glared at the phone, anticipating Liam would leave a message. Did he seriously think that I’d answer his call after all this time?

  When nothing came in, simply a missed call, I tossed the phone onto the bar, my hackles raised. I knew my brother well enough, even from ten years before, to realize that his wasn’t a reunion call. He either needed something or he was calling me as a warning.

  I took a deep breath, debating whether to call him back when Darren entered the room.

  “Is there an issue with the girl?” he asked, his upper lip curling.

  “No. She’s fine, but I need you and Kito to handle a situation for me.”

  “Anything you need.”

  “You’re familiar with Bobby Rivers?”

  He walked closer, narrowing his eyes. “Yeah, he’s scum. Handles dirty work for a lot of bigwigs in town. Why?”

  “He needs to understand that I won’t allow threats to be made.”

  “Do you want him relieved of his... situation?” Darren asked as he shifted from one foot to the other.

  “Just make certain he understands that it’s better not to cross me. Also find out exactly what his relationship with Luis Toro was.”

  Darren seemed perplexed then nodded. “Absolutely. When would you like it dealt with?”

  “The sooner the better.” I knew my instructions would be handled to the letter.

  He grinned. “You got it, boss. I know where he plays. We’ll have a long chat with him tonight.”

  Likely the very place he’d been attacked. I needed to find out what I might be dealing with. If Bobby wasn’t obliged to help, there were ways to garner additional crucial information on him necessary to make him talk. If I had to guess, Luis had realized Bobby had been hired to put pressure on him. It was likely Luis had been killed because of reneging on the terms, Bobby the man responsible. I couldn’t put anything past Mr. Rivers. The little information I’d learned about him suggested he had no morals, his entire family not much better. “Find out what he’s into and who he’s been dealing with other than Mr. Toro as well. I need to know his contacts.” I was aware of Darren’s colorful past and his various underground connections. If anyone could find information, he would be able to do so.

  “That I can do,” he stated, a slight growl coming from his chest.

  “Let me know when it’s done.”

  “Will do, Mr. Masters.”

  As he left the room, I knew I was taking a significant chance in attempting to protect her. In my mind, there was no other choice.

  While she was mine to keep and enjoy, she was also mine to protect.

  And God help any man who attempted to hurt her again.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Gabriel

  Alessandra was much quieter at dinner, as I’d anticipated she would be, unable to look me in the eyes. She sat like a statue, picking at her food while I devoured mine.

  I hated the quiet, the tension between us.

  And my frustration increased as every minute ticked by.

  Sighing, she took a sip of her wine, fiddling with her hair. After showering, she’d donned a stunning red dress, my favorite of all of the frocks I’d selected. Every time I looked at her, all I could think about was stripping it away, taking her like the savage I was all over again.

  However, her insolence I couldn’t tolerate.

  “You don’t like prime rib, Alessandra?” I asked as I forked another piece into my mouth, immediately cutting another bite. My hunger knew no bounds tonight.

  “I love prime rib, Gabriel. The bloodier the better,” she mused, lifting her gaze until she locked eyes with mine. As if on purpose, she cut a huge portion, shoving it into her mouth. Her expression was one of glee.

  There was no reason for her aggravated actions to cause frustration, but my skin tingled as I watched her, finally easing another bite into my mouth. I reached for the wine, realizing my hand was shaking. Between Liam’s calls and the threats, a part of me had come unhinged. What the fuck did my brother want? If he honestly thought we were going to be friends, he was freaking out of his mind.

  My father had accommodated all four brothers in the will, leaving them a part of the business. For that, I could kill the asshole all over again, but in time, I would force them out.

  “You can cook,” she muttered while still chewing. “I wondered if your expertise was merely in destroying those around you.”

  Was she purposely attempting to piss me off? I knew how badly she wanted to learn about my family, and my damn scar, but she didn’t need to know anything. “Chew your food, Alessandra. I certainly don’t want you to choke.”

  “You don’t?” She slathered another bite with juice then shoved it into her mouth, allowing the liquid to trickle down both sides of her face.

  I leaned back in my seat, pushing the plate away,
my pulse racing. “Why would you ask that?”

  She shrugged instead of answering, grabbing her wineglass and glugging almost half the glass. The combination of wine and blood oozing down both sides of her face was an odd aphrodisiac, although I was floored at her behavior, the audacity.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” I demanded, dumping my knife and fork onto the plate.

  “What you told me to do.” The muffled sounds were ridiculous, only adding to my confusion. She finally placed her hand against her lips, giggling as she wiped away the remnants of food.

  My head ached like a son of a bitch. The entire day hadn’t gone as I’d planned. “You’re going to eat like a lady or you’re not going to be allowed to finish your dinner. Is that clear?”

  “Uh-huh. I mean, yes, sir.” She wiped her mouth with her napkin, smiling at me demurely.

  What in the hell did she think she was doing?

  When she cut a tiny piece, I took a deep breath, dragging the plate back in front of me. I wasn’t good at small talk and we certainly had nothing in common. As I continued cutting, concentrating on what I was doing, I finally glanced in her direction.

  I remained furious at her defiance, the harsh look she was giving me. I’d had enough.

  I jerked up from the seat, yanking her by the arm as I grabbed her plate, pulling it away. I’d never felt so ridiculous. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

  As she spit out the half-consumed bite, her damn eyes twinkled. “Just trying to enjoy dinner with my fiancé. Nothing more.”

  I closed my eyes as I pulled her closer. “Whatever you think you’re doing is going to stop. Either sit down and act like a lady or this privilege as well as every other one will be removed from you.”

  A different look crossed her face and she nodded, her cheeks flushing from embarrassment. I let her go, no longer certain I gave a damn about food. I knew exactly why she was acting out in this manner. She knew by getting me riled that I’d talk. I huffed, moving toward the chair and sitting down with a hard thud. A moment of utter exhaustion settled in, the weight of the last few years more crushing than normal.

  “What the fuck do you want from me, Alessandra? What? Do you want to know all the dirty little secrets that I have swimming around in my life? Will that make you happy?”

  “Yes!” she hissed. “You act like you give a damn about me, even make love with me but you refuse to tell me anything. I will be your wife!”

  The words and her vehemence seemed to reverberate in the air, dragging out another round of arrogance. I glared at her, half laughing before I answered. Why the hell not?

  “I’m estranged from my family. I haven’t talked to them in years. They tossed me away. They said I was a disgrace to the entire family. Why the fuck should I want to bother with a single one of them after all this time? Is that what you want to know and why you’re acting like a spiteful child?”

  She studied me, very carefully wrapping her hand around the glass. “At least you have a family, Gabriel. I have no one to care about me. Not a single person. No aunts. No uncles. No living grandparents. Someone murdered my father, taking away the only link to my past that I have. I would love to have a big family who gave a shit about me enough to try and reach out, no matter how long it had been since we talked. Maybe you don’t care and that’s fine, but I think you do. As a matter of fact, I know you do.”

  She knew exactly how to get to me, the hard edge crumbling just enough to get her point across. “You know nothing about me.”

  “I know enough that whatever caused your scar nearly destroyed you and I think it has everything to do with your family.”

  Spots of blood washed in front of my eyes, my heartbeat irregular as the anger shifted to a boiling point. “Just leave it alone. Go to your room, Alessandra. I can see that enjoying dinner wasn’t on your agenda tonight. You should go hungry.”

  “You don’t want me to go.”

  I laughed as I rocked in the chair. “Let. It. Go.”

  She rushed toward me, her hand fisted. “No. You want to remove that damn boulder that’s crushing down on you. You long to trust even a single person, to care about someone again. For a few stupid days, I thought that could be me. I was stupid enough to believe that you are a wonderful man, someone I could learn to care for.” Her words faded off as her breathing became scattered, tears filling her eyes. “I guess as usual, I was stupid for believing that. I knew Bobby Rivers was a bad man, but every little girl loves the dark and dangerous heroes. Right? I’m just a stupid girl and a fool.” She placed both hands in front of her face, taking deep breaths.

  “You’re not a fool. You’re an amazing woman.”

  “Then trust me! Tell me who the woman was who crushed you. Was she the reason for your scar?”

  The way she gripped my arms was far too intimate, enough so that all I wanted to do was push her away.

  But I couldn’t.

  I saw the light in her eyes, the kind of intangible hurt and frustration that created a dagger in my heart. I hadn’t planned on falling for this woman. She was a nobody, just a method of exacting revenge. Then why did she create such desire? Why did I want to keep her protected, hidden away from the rest of the world? And why did I feel the cold steel armor dissolving?

  The anger and frustration continued to build, my mind swimming in the darkness that had nearly destroyed me.

  “Christina was the only woman I loved. She meant everything to me, even though I was nothing more than a spoiled playboy. She became my light. My darkness. My very soul. Then she was gone. Gone! And it was all my fault! I killed her! I was the one to blame. She trusted me on that night. She knew I would protect her, but I didn’t. Don’t you see now? Can you understand?”

  Alessandra took a deep breath, her lower lip quivering. She could never understand the guilt and shame I’d been through or the embarrassment to my family. My fault. My stupidity.

  “That night? Tell me, Gabriel.”

  I pushed her away, turning immediately. I couldn’t stand to see the condemnation in her eyes.

  The quiet was too much to bear. “Go to your room. Just go!”

  “No.”

  The single word was everything. She would defy me. She was the kind of woman who refused to be put in a cage, forced to accept her penance. Alessandra was remarkable and infuriating, perfect yet vulnerable. She was far too wonderful for a man who could never accept himself.

  “Whatever you did, I won’t believe you killed her. You hide behind so many masks as well as the anger for losing your family, but you are no killer,” she stated defiantly, standing so close, far too close to the monster who could hurt her. Destroy her.

  Turning sharply, I yanked her into my arms, fisting her hair as I dragged her onto her toes. “You listen to me, Alessandra. I did kill her. I made the decision to have just one more drink while she begged me not to. I was the one driving when I lost control. I. Killed. Her. You see? I am that monster you accused me of being, a horrible excuse for a human being. I’d not good for you.”

  “Yes, you are. You’re everything.”

  “No. I’m nothing, just like my family made certain of.” I laughed bitterly, my emotions out of fucking control. I had to let her go.

  But I couldn’t.

  I needed to give her back her life.

  But I wouldn’t.

  She was mine.

  Mine.

  “Stop it! Stop it, Gabriel. You don’t want me to love you, but I do and I won’t stop. I refuse! God help me but I love you and there is nothing that you can say to change my mind.”

  Hissing, I dug my fingers into her back as I held her, feeling our combined heartbeats. “You won’t survive.”

  “I’ll take my chances.”

  I crushed my mouth over hers, my grip on her hair tightening. I wanted all of her, every inch. Every molecule. Every breath. I wanted to drink her in, absorb her goodness. I wanted to consume her, feasting on her beautiful skin and sweet essence. I never wanted to let
her go.

  And I loved her...

  The kiss was manic, crazed, our tongues entwining, our bodies clinging together. She wrapped her hand around my neck, opening up like a beautiful flower that had finally taken a breath of sunshine. Her soft moans were the finest orchestra, the sweetest strings of guitar. I could feast on her for days, taking her to pure ecstasy.

  The man.

  The killer.

  The monster.

  As visions of that horrible night swept into my mind—the light drizzle, the horror on Christina’s face, the bank of trees, and the blood—I was driven to a state of madness. Anger. Hate. Sorrow.

  I gave Alessandra a hard shove, pushing her against the table. The sound of shattering glass was the real reminder that I refused to drag her into my world.

  “Go!” I commanded, pressing the tips of my fingers against my face.

  “Gabriel. No.”

  “I. Said. Go. Now! I don’t want you.” As I glared at her, the light faded away from her beautiful eyes leaving only anger and sadness, but she obeyed. “Get out.”

  I watched as she raced out of the room, could hear her strangled cries. As I slumped against the counter, I knew I’d fallen into the final abyss.

  And one I could no longer recover from.

  Yet I whispered the words I’d longed to tell her. “I love you.”

  * * *

  Blackness.

  Despair.

  Death.

  I stood by the doors in my office, staring out at the mountains. My hand had been on the doorknob for almost five minutes, but I was crippled by even the thought of going outside. I slammed my hand against the glass, the frustration continuing to build as thoughts about Christina remained in the forefront of my mind.

  She’d been just as sweet and special as Alessandra, her joy in living the only thing that had dragged me from my personal nightmares. Drugs. Alcohol. Partying. That’s all that had mattered until she had come into my life. I’d turned my life around, prepared to share my world with her.

  Then fate had intervened, as well as my old ways.

  I was to blame.

  I’d been lucky no charges were filed, my father’s wealth and influence the reason why. Her family had lost their only daughter and money had fixed everything.